It's really hard to help someone you don't like. Wouldn't you agree?
So why then do we say cruel things to ourselves?
When I stopped criticizing myself for being fat, I started losing weight.
My reasoning for saying negative things to myself was, in part, that I didn't want to like myself where I was and get comfortable at an unhealthy weight. But it backfired: My subconscious believed I was as worthless as I was telling myself I was, and I lost the gumption to do the hard work needed to make myself healthy again.
It was a struggle to stop the negative self-talk, both in my head and out loud. The things in my head, of course, I said to myself. The things out loud I said to others about myself. Most of the time. Sometimes I would actually look into the mirror and berate myself out loud for how overweight I'd become. Hard to admit, but it's true. Regardless, my subconscious heard all of it and took it to heart. (Or brain, as the case may be.)
I had to learn to interrupt myself and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Here are a few examples:
- When I would look in the mirror and think "Look at what you have let yourself become! You are disgusting!", I made myself stop the thought and would say (out loud if possible) "No, I am not disgusting. I have weight to lose, but I am worth the long journey it will take to get there, and I will come out a better person for it."
- When I thought "I am NEVER going to be able to lose all this weight!", I would stop myself and say "It is entirely possible to lose this weight and I am totally worth the time and effort it will take."
- When I would say to myself "There is not one redeemable part of my body left" I would interrupt myself and say "I have beautiful eyes and wonderful hair. My hands are lovely and thin. My waist is small in comparison to the rest of me and I have a feminine shape. I may not be as thin as I want, but I am going to get there and look beautiful as I do."
It felt kinda silly, but it worked. Soon after I started doing this, I found the determination within me to start the journey towards being thin and healthy again. And throughout the journey I have had to remind myself that although the road was long, I was NOT going to quit and it was worth the deprivation, time, hunger, and hard work put in at the gym.
I thought I had mastered this, but then my trainer, Ruben, called me on the carpet for negative comments I had made about myself that I wasn't aware were negative. I just thought they were realistic. He told me that I was going to sabotage my own efforts if I didn't stop it. It was hard to hear, and at first I bristled, but then I let it soak in and took the advice to heart.
He probably doesn't realize the valuable lesson I learned that day: There is a difference between being full of yourself and loving yourself. The former is a sin. The latter is a blessing.
Now that I am ounces away from my off-season goal weight I can tell you one thing for sure: Every last minute of the struggle, both mentally and physically, was worth it.
YOU are worth it. YOU deserve to be loved by YOU.
Stopping negative self-talk is paramount to losing weight. Beating yourself up accomplishes nothing positive. Sometimes we are the only positive voice we have. So listen to yourself loving yourself. Your sense of self-worth and desire to change for the better will follow. I promise.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
In Spite of, not Because Of
If you are waiting for life's circumstances to be "just right" before you start eating right and exercising, you are in for a long wait. They never will be.
Why is it that we view taking care of ourselves as an added burden?
Why do we look at ordering a Big Mac and large fries with a McFlurry as easier than ordering a Grilled chicken sandwich, hold the mayo, with a side salad and unsweetened tea?
Why do we look at exercise as something that takes "too much time", but we have time to sit down and spend 2 hours watching The Biggest Loser?
Why do we look at over eating, or eating crap, as an acceptable way of burning off some stress? Has over eating ever really HELPED your stress?
Look, folks, it's a change of mindset.
Since last Ocbober, when I made the decision to make the changes to my lifestyle that would enable me to have a body I am proud of, a lot of stressful things have happened. Here are a few: I got braces on my teeth, a family member died, I had seven family birthdays and four major holidays take place (one of which family members came in and stayed with us for- which was a pure pleasure!), my daughter had an emergency with and then surgery on her feet and then recover from it, another daughter is being sued, my son wound up in the ER with a dislocated knee, the step-kids and my husband came back over Christmas vacation. Oh, and not to mention my husband lives and works 1200 miles away and I am acting essentially as a single Mom to my kids, one of whom is a mentally handicapped adult and living with me.
There's more, but you get the idea.
The point is, taking care of yourself has to be a PART of life, not an optional and disposable add-on.
Yeah, I know you're tired. I'm tired. And I know you have a lot going on. I have a lot going on. But when I decided I was going to make changes despite my circumstances and that taking care of myself needed to be a part of my life just like showering or brushing my teeth, THAT's when the changes came. And now I have more energy to do all of life's stressful stuff because I have less body weight to haul around. I am handling life's stresses BETTER with a more fit body.
It's a change of mindset. Not a change of circumstances.
Why is it that we view taking care of ourselves as an added burden?
Why do we look at ordering a Big Mac and large fries with a McFlurry as easier than ordering a Grilled chicken sandwich, hold the mayo, with a side salad and unsweetened tea?
Why do we look at exercise as something that takes "too much time", but we have time to sit down and spend 2 hours watching The Biggest Loser?
Why do we look at over eating, or eating crap, as an acceptable way of burning off some stress? Has over eating ever really HELPED your stress?
Look, folks, it's a change of mindset.
Since last Ocbober, when I made the decision to make the changes to my lifestyle that would enable me to have a body I am proud of, a lot of stressful things have happened. Here are a few: I got braces on my teeth, a family member died, I had seven family birthdays and four major holidays take place (one of which family members came in and stayed with us for- which was a pure pleasure!), my daughter had an emergency with and then surgery on her feet and then recover from it, another daughter is being sued, my son wound up in the ER with a dislocated knee, the step-kids and my husband came back over Christmas vacation. Oh, and not to mention my husband lives and works 1200 miles away and I am acting essentially as a single Mom to my kids, one of whom is a mentally handicapped adult and living with me.
There's more, but you get the idea.
The point is, taking care of yourself has to be a PART of life, not an optional and disposable add-on.
Yeah, I know you're tired. I'm tired. And I know you have a lot going on. I have a lot going on. But when I decided I was going to make changes despite my circumstances and that taking care of myself needed to be a part of my life just like showering or brushing my teeth, THAT's when the changes came. And now I have more energy to do all of life's stressful stuff because I have less body weight to haul around. I am handling life's stresses BETTER with a more fit body.
It's a change of mindset. Not a change of circumstances.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Weight Lifting Hunger
Do you have an issue with hunger, now that you've started lifting weights? This has been a concern with me in the past, too. Here are a few things I've do to combat this:
- I drink massive amounts of water. I mean, on average a gallon a day. Often more.
- I eat 6-7 times a day, which breaks down to every 2-3 hours. Yes, I know this is something you hear to do all the time, and I used to roll my eyes every time I heard it because I was so sick of the same advice all the time, but it really does help me to not be so ravenous when I lift. Plus, it's not as hard to wait when I'm hungry knowing another feeding is just around the corner.
- I have protein with virtually every one of my 6-7 feedings a day.
- I avoid sugar, white flour, and most processed foods. I don't know why, but I get a lot hungrier and have more cravings when that junk is coursing through my body.
- I try to do some cardio right after my lifting whenever possible. For some reason cardio seems to counter-act the hunger that the weight lifting causes to a large degree. Don't know why this is, but the fact is that doing this has helped.
I've also found that after several weeks of lifting the tendency to be so blessed hungry decreases greatly. Now, I really only battle it when my hormones are messing with me.
Admittedly, being hungry because of lifting can seem counter-productive and be a real mental mind-game when you are trying to be fit. But if you can work your way through it, the benefits of lifting heavy make the journey well worth it. And you'll feel better about yourself for having persevered.
- I drink massive amounts of water. I mean, on average a gallon a day. Often more.
- I eat 6-7 times a day, which breaks down to every 2-3 hours. Yes, I know this is something you hear to do all the time, and I used to roll my eyes every time I heard it because I was so sick of the same advice all the time, but it really does help me to not be so ravenous when I lift. Plus, it's not as hard to wait when I'm hungry knowing another feeding is just around the corner.
- I have protein with virtually every one of my 6-7 feedings a day.
- I avoid sugar, white flour, and most processed foods. I don't know why, but I get a lot hungrier and have more cravings when that junk is coursing through my body.
- I try to do some cardio right after my lifting whenever possible. For some reason cardio seems to counter-act the hunger that the weight lifting causes to a large degree. Don't know why this is, but the fact is that doing this has helped.
I've also found that after several weeks of lifting the tendency to be so blessed hungry decreases greatly. Now, I really only battle it when my hormones are messing with me.
Admittedly, being hungry because of lifting can seem counter-productive and be a real mental mind-game when you are trying to be fit. But if you can work your way through it, the benefits of lifting heavy make the journey well worth it. And you'll feel better about yourself for having persevered.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Carbs, Fat, Protein, and Gin
Do you know the caloric content of a gram of each carbs, fat, and protein? If not, gaining this knowledge can help you to understand food labels better.
A gram of carbohydrate and protein each have 4 calories.
A gram of fat has 9 calories.
Yep, fat packs more than twice as many calories in the same weight as carbs or protein.
This is why something can be so small and still contain so many calories- It's a high fat content.
On ounce of oil (2 Tablespoons) is 240 calories, all from fat.
For that same amount of calories you can have just over 2 cups of unsweetened applesauce, all of the calories from carbs.
See the difference?
So you can actually consume fat calories faster than carb or protein, because there are more calories in a smaller space.
All have a place in the diet, and you don't want to cut fat out entirely. I like to get between 10 and 30 percent of my calories from fat, but I try to get them healthy fats like olive oil, peanut oil, canola oil, and avocado. I'm allergic to tree nuts, but for those who aren't they and their oils are also healthy forms of fat. If I'm going to butter something I'd prefer it be the real thing- Butter made from cream.
As a general rule, if a source of fat can stay solid at room temp, it's not good for you.
Incidentally, a gram of alcohol is 7 calories, which is nearly that of fat and almost twice that of carbs and protein. With no nutritional value, there is little benefit to making alcohol part of ones diet.
All calories come from one of those four sources, by the way- Cabs, Protein, Fat, or Alcohol.
A gram of carbohydrate and protein each have 4 calories.
A gram of fat has 9 calories.
Yep, fat packs more than twice as many calories in the same weight as carbs or protein.
This is why something can be so small and still contain so many calories- It's a high fat content.
On ounce of oil (2 Tablespoons) is 240 calories, all from fat.
For that same amount of calories you can have just over 2 cups of unsweetened applesauce, all of the calories from carbs.
See the difference?
So you can actually consume fat calories faster than carb or protein, because there are more calories in a smaller space.
All have a place in the diet, and you don't want to cut fat out entirely. I like to get between 10 and 30 percent of my calories from fat, but I try to get them healthy fats like olive oil, peanut oil, canola oil, and avocado. I'm allergic to tree nuts, but for those who aren't they and their oils are also healthy forms of fat. If I'm going to butter something I'd prefer it be the real thing- Butter made from cream.
As a general rule, if a source of fat can stay solid at room temp, it's not good for you.
Incidentally, a gram of alcohol is 7 calories, which is nearly that of fat and almost twice that of carbs and protein. With no nutritional value, there is little benefit to making alcohol part of ones diet.
All calories come from one of those four sources, by the way- Cabs, Protein, Fat, or Alcohol.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Big Changes equals Big Changes
Months ago it was suggested to me that I do a blog about little changes one can make to improve one's health. While I do believe everyone can change some smaller and easier things to make themselves healthier (choose zero-calorie beverages, have the leave mayo off of your hamburger, get 30 minutes of aerobic activity most days, etc.) the reason I haven't blogged about this so far is because I know this in my heart: Small changes yield small results.
I think most of us want to see big results.
Here is the hard reality: The bigger the changes you make, the bigger the differences you will see in your body and health.
This is not what most people want to hear. They want to hear that if they take some magical pill, do some sort of cleansing diet, or perform one specific exercise the pounds will melt away and they will have the body of their dreams.
I'm sorry, my friends, but it just doesn't work that way.
Yet another difficult truth: The changes to your body won't be permanent unless the changes to your lifestyle are permanent.
The fact is that I did many fairly "right things" for many years: I enjoyed lifting weights, but did not do any of the exercises (particularly squats and lunges) that weren't my favorites. I did cardio for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. I always drank diet soda and zero-calorie beverages. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but truth to tell, I was simply dabbling in good habits.
When I took the blinders off and faced the fact that my own resistance to do the hard stuff was what was standing between me and being the super-fit person I knew I had the potential to be and implementing big changes....... THAT's when I started to see the big results:
-I got serious about my Weight Watchers program and stopped piddling around with it, giving myself Tuesdays (my weigh day) as the day to "Have a break" and eat what I wanted, or going "just a little" over in my points from day to day.
-I cut out most refined foods, to include low-cal treats laden with artificial sweeteners and foods that had names of ingredients I could not pronounce.
-I stopped eating so many processed foods and replaced them with real, whole foods from ingredients as close to fresh as I could find them.
-I all but cut out artificially sweetened beverages (although I will occasionally still drink a diet coke or sweeten my tea with Splenda), and made it a habit to guzzle water, keeping a water bottle with me at all times. (I now drink, on average, a gallon of water a day.)
-I've hired a personal trainers who have incorporated very difficult power lifting moves, squats, and lunges into my workout routine. I don't always like it, but I don't whine and I gave it 100%, every time.
The point? I've made really big changes and embraced them as a lifestyle, instead of something I'm doing temporarily. As result I have a much smaller, more symmetrical, and tighter body with muscles that sometimes illicit compliments from total strangers.
I'm not done... but I'm sure coming along!
So was it worth it, you ask? Yes! A million times over! It will be for you, too. That's a promise I don't mind standing by.
All of this came about one change at a time, but I WAS deliberate about it.
No one I know has ever strolled towards a goal or one day looked in the mirror and said "I look fantastic! How did this happen? Must be all of those small changes!"
The fact is that seeing a big change requires a big change. And to keep the benefits, one must continue on with the big change. It's a truth that hurts, but it is the truth.
I think most of us want to see big results.
Here is the hard reality: The bigger the changes you make, the bigger the differences you will see in your body and health.
This is not what most people want to hear. They want to hear that if they take some magical pill, do some sort of cleansing diet, or perform one specific exercise the pounds will melt away and they will have the body of their dreams.
I'm sorry, my friends, but it just doesn't work that way.
Yet another difficult truth: The changes to your body won't be permanent unless the changes to your lifestyle are permanent.
The fact is that I did many fairly "right things" for many years: I enjoyed lifting weights, but did not do any of the exercises (particularly squats and lunges) that weren't my favorites. I did cardio for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. I always drank diet soda and zero-calorie beverages. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, but truth to tell, I was simply dabbling in good habits.
When I took the blinders off and faced the fact that my own resistance to do the hard stuff was what was standing between me and being the super-fit person I knew I had the potential to be and implementing big changes....... THAT's when I started to see the big results:
-I got serious about my Weight Watchers program and stopped piddling around with it, giving myself Tuesdays (my weigh day) as the day to "Have a break" and eat what I wanted, or going "just a little" over in my points from day to day.
-I cut out most refined foods, to include low-cal treats laden with artificial sweeteners and foods that had names of ingredients I could not pronounce.
-I stopped eating so many processed foods and replaced them with real, whole foods from ingredients as close to fresh as I could find them.
-I all but cut out artificially sweetened beverages (although I will occasionally still drink a diet coke or sweeten my tea with Splenda), and made it a habit to guzzle water, keeping a water bottle with me at all times. (I now drink, on average, a gallon of water a day.)
-I've hired a personal trainers who have incorporated very difficult power lifting moves, squats, and lunges into my workout routine. I don't always like it, but I don't whine and I gave it 100%, every time.
The point? I've made really big changes and embraced them as a lifestyle, instead of something I'm doing temporarily. As result I have a much smaller, more symmetrical, and tighter body with muscles that sometimes illicit compliments from total strangers.
I'm not done... but I'm sure coming along!
So was it worth it, you ask? Yes! A million times over! It will be for you, too. That's a promise I don't mind standing by.
All of this came about one change at a time, but I WAS deliberate about it.
No one I know has ever strolled towards a goal or one day looked in the mirror and said "I look fantastic! How did this happen? Must be all of those small changes!"
The fact is that seeing a big change requires a big change. And to keep the benefits, one must continue on with the big change. It's a truth that hurts, but it is the truth.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Getting started with exercise at home, part IV
So now, it's time to come up with an at-home exercise plan.
I want to make it clear that this is my recommendation, but not a be-all end all to how one should start an exercise program. It's what worked for me, and has helped people I've advised. I know it works, but it's not the only way to go about it.
First, get out that book I said was the #1 piece of exercise equipment and choose one exercise for each major muscle group. For starting purposes, lets not get picky about which exercises to perform- any for that body part will do.
You are going to work your body parts in this order:
Quads
Hamstrings
Calves
Chest
Upper back (the lats)
Shoulders
Triceps
Biceps
Upper abs
Lower abs
Obliques
Lower back
Read thoroughly in the book how each exercise is to be executed, and keep the book next to you as you exercise. Refer to it frequently as you exercise, reviewing each exercise again before you do it (and as you do it if necessary). I cannot stress this strongly enough: Proper form is most important! Do the exercise exactly as demonstrated and pictured!
This first time through, do each exercise with no weights.
Yes, you heard me right- I want you to do the exercises this time through unweighted. This will help to ensure that you execute proper form and don't hurt yourself the first time out. If it makes you feel any better, the first time I try an exercise alone I always do it with no weight. I want to know how "proper form" feels before I add weight to it. This way I can tell the difference between "This is different because I have more weight added" and "This is different because something just ain't movin' right" without causing myself injury.
Do each exercise for one set of 15. (Refer to my blog about sets and reps, if you aren't sure what I am talking about.)
Really work on SQUEEZING the muscles you are supposed to be working both in the concentric (contracting) and eccentric (elongating) part of the move. (In other words, throughout the entire motion). Don't ever just drop the weight back to the starting position. Stay in control of the weight ALL THE TIME!
Keep a steady pace of about 2-3 seconds to get whatever body part you are moving up and 2-3 seconds to get it back to where you started. You can slow this down as you progress, but for now 2-3 seconds each direction is adequate.
When you are done, stretch all the body parts you worked (this should be covered in the book you bought, as well), holding each stretch for about 10 seconds.
And there you have it! That's how you get started.
The next time, if you feel ready, add light weights- start with the lightest ones you have if you still feel a bit shaky, but keep in mind that you want to progress fairly quickly to weights that feel challenging by the time you get to the end of the 15 rep set.
When you have completed all body parts, put that exercise DVD in and give it a whirl. It's a good idea to do at least 30 minutes of cardio, but more sure never hurts.
You can also move cardio to another time of day- it's perfectly acceptable to split your workout into smaller sessions. Currently I do my cardio at 5:30 AM and then get my weight lifting in closer to 10:30AM. Just fits into my schedule better.
When you feel you need more, do two sets of 15 reps of each exercise.
When you feel like you need more yet, switch to different exercises for the same body parts, always starting out at least a few reps with no weight, to get the feel for it.
When you feel like you need more than that, are starting to run out of time because the workouts are getting too long, or just want something different, Email me and we'll come up with a split (working different muscles on different days) that works for you.
No more excuses! Start moving!
I want to make it clear that this is my recommendation, but not a be-all end all to how one should start an exercise program. It's what worked for me, and has helped people I've advised. I know it works, but it's not the only way to go about it.
First, get out that book I said was the #1 piece of exercise equipment and choose one exercise for each major muscle group. For starting purposes, lets not get picky about which exercises to perform- any for that body part will do.
You are going to work your body parts in this order:
Quads
Hamstrings
Calves
Chest
Upper back (the lats)
Shoulders
Triceps
Biceps
Upper abs
Lower abs
Obliques
Lower back
Read thoroughly in the book how each exercise is to be executed, and keep the book next to you as you exercise. Refer to it frequently as you exercise, reviewing each exercise again before you do it (and as you do it if necessary). I cannot stress this strongly enough: Proper form is most important! Do the exercise exactly as demonstrated and pictured!
This first time through, do each exercise with no weights.
Yes, you heard me right- I want you to do the exercises this time through unweighted. This will help to ensure that you execute proper form and don't hurt yourself the first time out. If it makes you feel any better, the first time I try an exercise alone I always do it with no weight. I want to know how "proper form" feels before I add weight to it. This way I can tell the difference between "This is different because I have more weight added" and "This is different because something just ain't movin' right" without causing myself injury.
Do each exercise for one set of 15. (Refer to my blog about sets and reps, if you aren't sure what I am talking about.)
Really work on SQUEEZING the muscles you are supposed to be working both in the concentric (contracting) and eccentric (elongating) part of the move. (In other words, throughout the entire motion). Don't ever just drop the weight back to the starting position. Stay in control of the weight ALL THE TIME!
Keep a steady pace of about 2-3 seconds to get whatever body part you are moving up and 2-3 seconds to get it back to where you started. You can slow this down as you progress, but for now 2-3 seconds each direction is adequate.
When you are done, stretch all the body parts you worked (this should be covered in the book you bought, as well), holding each stretch for about 10 seconds.
And there you have it! That's how you get started.
The next time, if you feel ready, add light weights- start with the lightest ones you have if you still feel a bit shaky, but keep in mind that you want to progress fairly quickly to weights that feel challenging by the time you get to the end of the 15 rep set.
When you have completed all body parts, put that exercise DVD in and give it a whirl. It's a good idea to do at least 30 minutes of cardio, but more sure never hurts.
You can also move cardio to another time of day- it's perfectly acceptable to split your workout into smaller sessions. Currently I do my cardio at 5:30 AM and then get my weight lifting in closer to 10:30AM. Just fits into my schedule better.
When you feel you need more, do two sets of 15 reps of each exercise.
When you feel like you need more yet, switch to different exercises for the same body parts, always starting out at least a few reps with no weight, to get the feel for it.
When you feel like you need more than that, are starting to run out of time because the workouts are getting too long, or just want something different, Email me and we'll come up with a split (working different muscles on different days) that works for you.
No more excuses! Start moving!
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