It's Paid For Whether You Eat It Or Not.

It's probably my most-used catch saying: "It's paid for whether you eat it or not". I say this when someone says they feel like they are wasting food by not eating it.

Just a few minutes ago, after cutting off a big chunk off for my skinny teenage daughter, I put half of my husbands triple-layer frosted cake that I made for his birthday down the garbage disposal. Neither he nor I want it sitting around tempting us. But as I did so I was thinking to myself "My mom would think this is such a waste!". (Who can identify?)

However, what is a waste to her is an investment to me.

As my kids were growing up they were never required to finish things like french fries or dessert, even when I was flat broke and a meal in a fast food restaurant was a big treat. There's not much nutritional value in those foods, and the lesson they learned about listening to their bodies was worth the investment of purchasing the food.

And yes, I would say to them "It's paid for whether you eat it or not."

Next time you want to finish something simply because it will be thrown away if you don't, ask yourself "Is the feeling of not 'wasting' this worth it's negative effect on my body?" If the answer is no, save the thing a few steps and just throw it right in the trash.

If you are with someone else who paid for it and thinks it a waste, thank them sincerely, ask for a to-go box, and throw it out on the way home.

Because regardless of whose dime it's on, it's still been paid for whether you eat it or not.

Your Trainer Did WHAT?

Even wonder if what you trainer is doing is acceptable, or even grounds for letting him or her go? Here's my short list of what I feel you should and should not accept from a personal trainer, as well as what you can do to rectify the situation:

- Your personal trainer should make a plan according to your goals, not pull out a workout plan she's used with dozens of clients before you. This doesn't mean the trainer shouldn't have a template: We all do. It means your program doesn't look exactly like every other person your trainer works with.

- A personal trainer should push you. Not to the point of injury, but to the point where you walk away feeling like you accomplished something.

- Your personal trainer should be watching you all of the time. They may need to speak with someone quickly, but you are their main focus for the entire session.

- Your personal trainer should treat you with dignity and respect. Period.

- Your personal trainer should change up your program no less often than every 4 weeks. Part of what you are paying them for is to see change. Bodies will eventually stop responding to the same routine after a few weeks. And if you say you are getting bored, they should modify to help keep you interested.

- Your personal trainer should ask questions if you say something hurts. This will help them determine if your pain is from muscle fatigue (which, honestly, you need to accept will often happen in order to have an effective training session), or something more serious. If you know what the trainer is asking you to do is going to hurt you, the trainer should modify or change the exercise.

- Your personal trainer shouldn't be on their phone. I have kept my phone with me to use the timer on it, but as far as texting, calling, checking Facebook, or any other purpose not related directly to YOU, phone usage is not Okay. You are paying your trainer to train you, not communicate with others. (Exception: There is a potential emergency and the trainer truly does need to know right away if it happens. This should be an extremely rare occurrence, and the trainer should ask you if this is Okay with you at the start of the session. To give you an idea of how rarely this should happen, in over 10 years of being a Personal Trainer, I have had a phone with me for this purpose exactly three times.)

- Your Personal Trainer should never, ever, ever flirt with or make an overt pass at you. You might be surprised how often this happens, particularly with male trainers. Many consider getting very personal a job perk. Trust me, if he's trying it with you, it's been successful with others. It's easy, and actually quite normal, to get a "Trainer Crush". But don't be another notch in his belt loop. Even if you don't give in, is it worth other trainers thinking you are one of his conquests? (Because trust me, he's not as discreet as he claims to be.)

In many cases you can speak with your trainer about all but the last of the above issues and see if he or she is willing to fix the situation. If they aren't willing to make some changes, it's time to break up with your trainer. They may even suggest another trainer to you. Don't take this as an insult! Honestly, it just makes it easier for you. In the case that you have prepaid sessions you can ask nicely for a refund, but it's more than likely that you signed a contract. So you may be stuck working with that trainer until the paid sessions are up if you are the one initiating the break up.

If, however, it's the last point (the trainer coming on to you) that you are having an issue with, calmly and firmly offer to talk to their boss if they won't refund you by a specified time (I'd give them 3 days) for the unused sessions. And you may want to talk to their boss, anyhow.

If he or she doesn't have a boss, offer to tell your friends. Chances are you'll see a refund quickly. Even if you don't, whatever you paid him or her is not worth the loss of dignity and, quite possibly, reputation.

Managing Pushy Hostesses

You know how it is- You are at a dinner somewhere, and a well-meaning hostess decides that you just MUST try her special Batter-Dipped and Double Fried Shortening that she ONLY makes for this particular occasion.  You really don't want to derail your healthy eating plan at this particular moment, but this gal is just not giving up.  How to handle it?

The natural inclination is to tell the truth: "No thank you.  I am trying to be careful with my eating right now."  I encourage you to try this tactic first.  But as we all know, so often it does not work and the hostess seems even more dogged in her determination to have you try her fabulous delicacy, even if it means informing you of all of the virtues of her dish.

In this case, I have found two very effective solutions to this delimma, neither of which involves lying:

Solution #1- "That looks so delicious.  It looks like you put a lot of time and effort into making it. But I am simply too full right now to enjoy it.  Can I take a rain check?"  One thing I know, being a bit of a food pusher myself, is that what you most want is to feel appreciated.  This covers that base, as well as leaves hope that the person will still sample your dish.  Besides, what's she going to do?  Say no?  

Solution #2 (I only use this in the event that, for some reason, Solution #1 does not work)- "I am so sorry, but I have an adverse effect to that type of food."  This is true.  It makes me fat. If asked what that adverse effect is, you can simply answer "It's too personal to share".  Of course, the person is going to think that it makes you have massive amounts of horrible intestinal issues, but you aren't lying because, quite frankly, I'd rather not discuss this at a party, anyhow.

As a parting note, keep all of this in mind when YOU host an event.  Be sensitive and don't push when someone tells you "No, thank you."

If It's Working, Don't Change Anything!

Anyone who has read my Spark Page recently knows that I have gained more weight than I am comfortable carrying, and that a lot of this came from stress eating. But in doing the self-examination that comes along with the Spark Coach Program (which I highly recommend), I have started to think of something else that helped with my weight creeping up: I let the opinions of others change how I worked my maintenance plan.

This was really pretty stupid of me, since I am acutely aware of my own limitations and have warned others to respect theirs, as well.

I guess the reason I listened to these other folks is because they were people who had accomplished tasks fitness-wise that I really admired. I respected them. But they don't live in my skin.

The key things I stopped doing were tracking my food and weighing myself at least several times a week.

I felt like it displayed weakness if I logged my foods and didn't trust my own appetite. I saw that many of the more advanced fitness people don't need to track- They cam be accountable on their own. Surely I was at least that advanced. Right?

And I was listening to others opinions that weighing regularly was being a slave to the scale, thereby putting the emphasis in the wrong place- That the scale was a liar and didn't tell the truth.

For some people these tactics work. For me, they were borrowing trouble.

And honestly, it's no surprise that in the near-absence of these things, I began to gain weight when extreme stress hit.

The truth is, as I've written in blogs past, that my personality is one that does better with regular food tracking. I do this in a written food log. Writing things down makes me face the facts about what I am eating. This works for me, even in maintenance.

As for weighing, I really do believe that the scale is the least accurate of the gauges that we use. But it also is the most immediate source of input I have. It takes time for my pants to get tight, but the scale tells the tale right away if I overate brownies recently.

Knowing I am going to have to face the numbers on the scale frequently keeps my head in the game when it comes to my eating habits.

And the fact is that if I get much over 155, size six just can't be maintained, no matter HOW much muscle versus fat I am carrying.

So while no one should live and die by the scale, it DOES give me a very useful snapshot of how things are going.

One good thing that this recent weight gain has taught me is that I would rather be considered weak using these accountability tools and looking fit, than considered emotionally strong not using them and viewed as overweight

I don't believe that tracking and weigh frequently is for everyone. What works for you is what you need to do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

As for me? I'm back to tracking and weighing. It's going to be work getting back to where I was, and even more work to stay there. But I remember how feeling great about my health was so very worth everything I did NOT eat. And this time, my opinion of how I need to stay there is the only one that counts.

Selective Amnesia

Yesterday, or more specifically last night, I went off the rails with my eating. 

The problem started because I was genuinely hungry later in the evening.  All  I could think about was carbs.  One trick I have to keep myself from eating once my daily food has been consumed is that I brush my teeth and put my retainer in. (I had braces a few  years ago and am very interested in keeping my teeth strait!)  I had done this, but the hunger was getting to me.  So I did something I NEVER do and took the retainer out to eat a little something.  Well, a little something turned into a LOT of something.  Ugh.

This morning I was trying to figure out what to do with my Weight Watchers Points.  In case you don't know how Weight Watchers works, you get a certain amount of points for the day based on your weight.  And then you get an additional 49 "flex points" that you can add into the week as needed. 

Yesterday was day 1 of my tracking week, so I had all 49 Flex Points still available to me at the end of the day.  However, I know that if I subtract as many as I approximate I ate last night, that won't leave me enough for the days when I go to the gym and genuinely NEED more food.  (I get ravenously hungry when I lift weights.)

I sat there and looked at my points, and thought of what I ate, and considered what I could do.  I was starting to get pretty stressed. 

It finally occurred to me to take a look at my "Good Health Guidelines" from yesterday.  These ensure that you hit certain dietary goals each day for maximum health.  And I realized that, despite thinking I'd eaten them all, I had only eaten 3 of my required 5 servings of produce.

Hmmmmm.......... Maybe if I'd of filled up on veggies I wouldn't have been so hungry.  Ya think, Nance?

At that point, I realized that to expect myself to be able to try and somehow make up the calorie difference in the following 6 days was setting myself up for failure.  I have a big appetite.   My body needs fuel.  And if it doesn't get enough I am very likely to go off the rails again.  One "blow it" this week was more than enough.

So I have made a decision to have selective amnesia.  The part I am forgetting?  What I overate.  The part I am remembering?  To check my Good Health Guidelines before I allow myself to go into my Flex Points.

As for my Flex Points, I did subtract 7, since that is the average daily amount (49 Flex Points divided by 7 days in the week equals an average of 7 points per day).  I am just going to proceed through the rest of the week like the overeating didn't happen.

In some ways I feel like I am starting over with my weight loss.  I am re-learning things I learned before and assumed I already knew.  This is really discouraging.  I get impatient with myself, because I've been here before- I should have this down, right?

But then I realize that if I continue to berate myself, I am doing nothing to help myself move forward. 

For me, this requires selective amnesia. 

And the fact that the gal in that photo has the type of body I'd like doesn't hurt anything, either.

A Few Quick Oatmeal "Recipes"

I love oatmeal and eat it almost every morning.   But I also like variety, and have found ways to spruce it up and make it a complete meal with protein powder.  The only brand I use is Beverly International, since I know their quality is sound.  And for my oats I use their UMP (Ultimate Muscle Protein), which is mainly casein.  I am sure other brands of casein protein would work, too.  Casein works much better with heat than other protein powders. 

Anyhow, here are a few of my favorite "recipes".  I usually make these with 1/3 C of dry oats, but sometimes I'll got down to 1/4 C or up to 1/2 C, depending on my carb targets for the day:

- Peaches and Cream Oatmeal:
Cook oats with a little extra water (to absorb the protein powder).  When done, stir in-
     * 1 scoop of vanilla UMP
     * pinch of salt
     * 1 peach, diced with skin on
     * 1 teaspoon coconut oil (optional, but I like the flavor this healthy fat adds) OR 1 teaspoon butter (if you use salted, omit the salt)
Put in an microwave-safe serving bowl and microwave for about 30-45 seconds to heat it back up, as the peaches will have cooled the oats down.


- Oatmeal Peanut butter Cookie Oats:
Cook oats with a little extra water (to absorb the protein powder).  When done, stir in-
     * 1 Tablespoon natural peanut butter
     * Salt to taste
Mix well to distribute the peanut butter evenly.  Then stir in:
     * 1 Scoop Vanilla UMP
     * 2 Tablespoons raisins


Chocolate Oats:
Cook oats with a little extra water (to absorb the protein powder).  When done, stir in-
     * 1 teaspoon coconut oil
     * pinch of salt
     * 1 scoop chocolate UMP
     * 1 Tablespoon cocoa powder (optional, and when I use this, I often add a teaspoon or so of calorie-free sweetener to help offset some of the bitterness of the cocoa)
- If you like, substitute 1 T of natural peanut butter for the coconut oil.


Snickerdoodle Oats:
Cook oats with a little extra water (to absorb the protein powder).  When done, stir in-
     * 1 scoop vanilla UMP
     * 1 teaspoon coconut oil or butter (if the butter is salted, omit the salt)
     * 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, or to taste
     * pinch of salt


Apple Pie Oats:
Place oats in the pan you are going to cook them in.  Cut up an apple into very small pieces and add to the oats.  Put in less water than you would usually cook the oats in, as the apple will cook down and add to the liquid.  Cook oats, stirring often (unless you do them in the microwave, then just let 'em cook), until done.
When cooked, stir in:
     * 1 scoop Vanilla UMP
     * 1 teaspoon butter (if it's salted, omit salt)
     * 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, or to taste
     * pinch ground nutmeg (optional)
     * pinch salt


I'll be that as you start using more variety with your oats, you will start coming up with your own combinations.  I'd love to hear what you create!

Only Undertake What You Know You Can Maintain

One lesson I have learned the hard way in my fitness journey:  Don't take on anything to lose weight that you aren't willing to do on a permanent basis.

If you do a bunch of nutty stuff to lose weight, you are very likely to gain the weight back once the nutty stuff is ceased. Why?  You didn't learn a darned thing about how to exist in your real, day-to-day world. 

I've been heavy and I've been very thin, and here is what I know: The stuff you did to lose weight is the stuff you will have to continue to do to maintain it. 

The fact is that the difference between weight loss and weight maintenance for me is about 300 calories a day.  Maybe.  This is two cookies.   So keeping up the weight loss methods, with a cookie or two (or whatever else equals 300 calories) added in, is what I must do to stay at my preferred weight.

Consequently, before I give up carbs after lunch, I ask myself:  Can I live like this for the rest of my life? 

Do I really want to live without ever eating sugar again?

And before I go to two workouts a day, I have to be honest about if that's something I can keep up after the weight is off.

If it's not, I don't do it.  Maybe it means carrying around some excess weight a bit longer.  That's Okay.  I'd rather find and adapt to liveable solutions than go through the frustration of gaining back some or all of weight I'd sacrificed so much to lose.

It all goes back to that overused term "lifestyle".   You will need to make changes, but find methods that fit into your lifestyle, or that you can build a new lifestyle around.  Trust me, you will save yourself a lot of frustration this way.

And, honestly, I think taking on methods that can't be maintained is the main reason there is such a discouragingly high percentage of weight regain.

The difference between maintaining and gaining is separated by a VERY THIN line.   Make sure you don't make it even thinner by setting yourself up for failure with changes you can't maintain.