Respect Your Limitations

I so admire the people who can keep weight off without logging food.  How much more convenient life must be without having to write it all down!  But I'm not one of them. 

Rarely can I let junk food in the house.  It's just to hard for me to keep my mitts (and tongue) off of it.

I've had people question and challenge me on both of these issues.  In years gone by I have let others bully me into bringing foods that were not in my best interest into my home when I knew I wasn't strong enough to resist them.  I've also felt ashamed that I planned to log my food even after I lost my weight, despite knowing it would help me to maintain, because someone told me that wasn't a realistic way to live.

But not anymore:  These are two limitations I've had to acknowledge and respect about myself.

I have a friend who does what is necessary to keep her body fat at a healthy level when she pays a trainer/coach to help her.  It's something she has to work into her budget to stay successful.  She's not weaker than anyone else.  Quite the opposite: She is strong enough to recognize and respect her own unique needs and then implement them.

Another person I know has to to to Weight Watchers meetings and weigh-in on a weekly basis in order to not gain her weight back.

Some do best avoiding restaurants; others can't stay home because they eat out of boredom.  Some do best if they plan their meals ahead, while others will rebel and overeat if their foods are strictly dictated:  They do better with a little (or a lot) more give in their eating plan.  Still others do better if they avoid things like white flour or sugar all together, while there are those who find success when they can indulge a little from time to time.

Your picture of success will not look like that of anyone else.  This is a good thing and as it should be.  You have to be true to your personality and respect your own limitations.  Maybe these boundaries will change with time.  Maybe they won't.  But for lasting success in the weight loss and fitness game, you are going to have to be honest and true with yourself about what works for you. 

If someone else doesn't like it? Well....... Let them eat cake........

Or not......

Video Blog Link: A Word About Maintenance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfQpfe6ZOfo
maintenance 

Stop The Blame Game!

If you are one of these people who is always blaming someone else for your current less-than-satisfactory physical condition, it's time to give it a rest.

The fact is that I've never seen one person successfully reach their weight loss goals blaming someone else for them being overweight and out of shape.  I suspect this has something to do with the fact that when you start pointing the finger at yourself, all your excuses go out the window.

Look, I know I sound harsh.  But I have the right to say these things because I know of which I speak:  I used to be a blamer. 

My favorite person to blame was my husband.  I'll still say to this day that the man is hard on a diet.  He's not trying to be.  Truly.  But focusing on eating as a prime source of entertainment and bringing goodies into the house "for the kids" does NOT help keep me in a mindset to maintain my goals.  However, it is ME who allowed myself to eat garbage once I was tempted with the yummy foods he exposed me to.  I had options:  Ask to go to restaurants that have guilt-free foods I can eat; Saying no to junk at the movie (even if he IS holding that delicious-smelling popcorn right next to me); Telling him to please take the kids away from the house to eat the goodies RIGHT NOW;  Removing myself from the house until the tempting foods were eaten..... I'm sure there were other solutions, but the fact is that it's me who was to blame, not him.  After all, I am the one who lives in my body.

I know people who are so busy blaming others as an excuse for their current condition that they are almost obsessed with it...... Mired down in the depressed state of victim,....... looking for sympathy from anyone who will listen as to their woeful tale of why being so fat and out of shape is not their fault.........

I think they feel like if enough people say "It's Okay- You can't help the way you are", they will suddenly feel accepted and the world will be Okay with them being overweight and out of shape, and somehow that will make them happy.

If this is you........, Guess what?  Even if everyone were to pat you on the head and tell you what you want so desperately to hear, you would still look in the mirror and see exactly what you saw five minutes before they told you that. And would that image make you happy?

Didn't think so.

A lot of folks like to blame their upbringing.  Okay, so I will give it to many of you that you were brought up in homes with very few good food choices and forced to clean your plate.  I see a lot of kids whose overweight condition I do indeed blame on the parents.  How can kids eat right if they aren't given right food choices?  If you are feeding your kids garbage, it's time to accept the blame for where they are and start feeding them healthy foods, even if you don't like healthy foods yourself.  Suck it up and set the example.

HOWEVER, if you are an adult who is out of shape and still blaming your parents, it's time to grow up and assume the responsibility for the way you look. Even if they locked you in a closet and fed you nothing but Twinkies your entire upbringing, NOW you are able to make you own choices.  NOW you can reverse what they have done.  NOW is the time to change your habits.  Besides, how long is it that you have you been out from under your parents jurisdiction?

Sorry- The Mommy Excuse just doesn't hold water.

The fact is that in order to maintain a body that is too big, you have to eat too much food.  I don't care how you got that body: To maintain it you have to be eating enough food to sustain it.  Make every excuse you want, but that's a fact no one can dispute.  Well, you could.... but you'd look pretty stupid to the rest of the world if you did.

Unless you lay claim to your own health, you will never own a healthy body.  That's just the way it is.  As long as you are deflecting the responsibility for your current state on someone besides you, you are nowhere near obtaining the healthy body you deserve to have.  YOU have all of the power in this.  YOU made choices that got you where you are today, whether you became unhealthy on your own or entered into adulthood that way.  And only YOU can get yourself out of it.

How?  Start with accepting.  Phrases like "I am the one who is responsible for being here."  "My dissatisfaction with my body is because of me, not anyone else." "Sure, other people may not have been supportive, but I make the choices that keep me here."

Believe it. Let it sink in.  Feel it.

And then?  Cast it away.  Forgive yourself.  Move forward, making better choices.  (I blogged about that here: http://itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/2010/04/love-yourself-in-your-current-condition.html)

And enjoy life.  You have gone way too far being miserable. It's time to forgive everyone, including yourself (read the above blog link), and live life out from under the cloud of blame.  When you do that, you are ready to take care of yourself the way you deserve.

Dealing With the Inevitable Naysayers

I haven't blogged in quite a while- I allowed someone to take the wind out of my sails for a bit, and I am sorry about that.......

Recently I had several inconsiderat things said to my about my choice to live a fit lifestyle.  It cut me to the quick, so I reached out to other fit people I know and was surprised to find out that every single one of them had been through similar things, usually many times over. I thought a blog about this might be prudent because the fact is that if you are going to choose to lead an improved lifestyle, the odds are that you are going to be met with similar comments and situations, as well.

First of all, take into consideration the physical state of the person making the comments.  If they are someone who is not in ideal shape, themselves. give that consideration before taking their comments to heart.

In light of this it stands to reason that, as my husband says, your success is probably making what they feel are their own shortcomings glaringly apparant to them.  So it's more than likely a feeling of inadequacy with themselves that leads them to say cruel or unreasonable things to you, not a true criticism of you.  So in a way they are acknowledging that they recognize your success.  For this reason, it can be taken as an off-handed compliment, if you can muster the inner strength to view it that way.

Also, bear in mind that it is NEVER your fault that someone else is not doing well in the weight loss and fitness game.  Your success cannot possibly be the reason for their non-success, regardless of how someone tries to justify it.  It is human nature to want to blame others for our own problems, so please keep that in mind when your share of criticism hits you.

Keeping all of this in mind, it's a delicate thing to know how to handle these situations.  We certainly don't want to drive people further away from changing their lives for the healthier, but on the other hand we shouldn't be targets for their frustrations, either.  I asked my friends who have also dealt with this how they handle these situations and the best suggestion yet came from my friend Tia.  She said that when critical things are said to her, she simply asks them "Why do you say that?"  This is, in my humble opinion, a brilliant strategy because it does the multiple purpose of getting the spotlight off of you, finding out where they are coming from on the off chance you might be able to help them, and getting them to reflect on their own motives.  And when done kindly, it lets them see you care about their feelings.  People can't grow when they feel attacked.  Quite frankly, I wish I'd of handled the criticisms that came my way in this manner.

Another perfectly acceptable strategy (this works particularly well when the criticism comes in a written form) is to say nothing at all.  You are under no obligation to answer a question just because someone asked it or reply to a statement just because someone said it.  And often silence says far more  than words ever could.

Also, if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't handle ANYthing by Email, letter, or text.  This is a good way to get all parties extremely upset, since your tone of voice can't be factored into the words and they can be taken in a way they were never meant.  I'd suggest, if you feel the need to communicate with someone who has written you in some way that you send them your phone number and tell them you'd much rather speak to them about it personally.  Chances are they will never call and the issue will die down, but if they do your meaning and caring will come across in your voice.  Also, people on both sides of the equation will usually type things they would never say with their voices, so for issues where it could get emotional actual talking really is the best way to go.

I hope this helps. If you are changing your health for the better and have not run into this issue yet trust me, it's coming.  Often from the least expected people.  Sometimes you will find that those you thought would be your biggest allies in your transformation will wind up being your biggest adversaries, and vice verse.  It's painful when it happens and you can't know who will say what when, but it will almost always surprise you.  If you are mentally ready for it you will hopefully be able to handle it with more grace and dignity than I did.

The Importance of Water

One of the keys to losing and now maintaining my weight has been drinking copious amounts of water (rarely less than 1 and sometimes up to 2 gallons a day).  I promised someone a while back who was surprised I considered it so important that I would post a blog on the subject.  I'm finally making good on that promise.

Here are a few of the many benefits of drinking plenty of water (not zero-calorie beverages:  WATER!)

- Let's start with the most motivating one:  Water helps waste move through the body in a mighty way. This means that a bunch of crud won't be hanging around inside you and you're more likely to weigh less on the scale in the mornings (after you've peed), because the content of your intestines will weigh less.  Full intestines can cause several pounds of scale weight gain if you are.... er..... stopped up.  So drinking water helps to give you a truer scale weight.

-Water helps to break down the nutrients in your food better, thus increasing your metabolism.  Not only that, if you are getting the nutrients you need the chances of cravings is reduced.

- Water helps regulate blood sugar, which helps insulin levels to stay steady, also reducing your likelihood to overindulge in sweet stuff.

- Water helps to give your stomach a full feel so that you are less likely to overeat.

- Plenty of water in your system helps your body to keep you cool during workouts, therefore allowing you to work out harder and get more bang for your exercise buck.

- Water is the primary ingredient in the synovial fluid around the joints, which allows them to move freely and gives them cushioning during your workouts.

There are a TON of other ways that water benefits the body, but these are ones that specifically relate to weight loss and fitness.

Can you drink too much water?  Yes- There is such a thing as water toxicity.  But to get that you have to drink stupid amounts of water.  The kidneys can process quite a lot of water an hour (over a quart) easily.  You'd pretty much have to TRY to drink too much water to get water toxicity.  Stay away from water-chugging contests and you'll probably be fine. :-)

And lastly, do I pee a lot?   YES!  But you don't pee out all that you drink- water goes out of you in other ways, like sweat and respiration, too.  And I will say that my bladder size has increased since increasing my water intake.  So while I still visit the bathroom more often than most other adults I know, I'm not seeing the inside of the ladies room as often as I did this time last year.

Forget Making Fitness Your New Years Resolution!

The term "New Years Resolution" sounds temporary-  Like it is only supposed to last through the in new part of the year.  Instead, make your fitness goals a "Life Time Resolution".

The problem with making weight loss and being more fit sound like temporary goals, even if you reach those goals, is that they aren't temporary at all!  Who wants to lose the weight just to gain it back?  Or get fit just to lose all of the progress they have made and go back to what they were before they set the goal?  "Not I!", said the cat!  These are goals that we want to be permanent, and to make them permanent you have to start patterns and habits that you will employ for the rest of your life.  Otherwise, you are going to find yourself right back where you started.

So save your New Years Resolution for one-time good deals, like buying a new house or re-doing the spare room.  Your health-related resolutions should have nothing to do with the New Year and have everything to do with being resolved to live a healthier life from this point on out.