Stop The Blame Game!

If you are one of these people who is always blaming someone else for your current less-than-satisfactory physical condition, it's time to give it a rest.

The fact is that I've never seen one person successfully reach their weight loss goals blaming someone else for them being overweight and out of shape.  I suspect this has something to do with the fact that when you start pointing the finger at yourself, all your excuses go out the window.

Look, I know I sound harsh.  But I have the right to say these things because I know of which I speak:  I used to be a blamer. 

My favorite person to blame was my husband.  I'll still say to this day that the man is hard on a diet.  He's not trying to be.  Truly.  But focusing on eating as a prime source of entertainment and bringing goodies into the house "for the kids" does NOT help keep me in a mindset to maintain my goals.  However, it is ME who allowed myself to eat garbage once I was tempted with the yummy foods he exposed me to.  I had options:  Ask to go to restaurants that have guilt-free foods I can eat; Saying no to junk at the movie (even if he IS holding that delicious-smelling popcorn right next to me); Telling him to please take the kids away from the house to eat the goodies RIGHT NOW;  Removing myself from the house until the tempting foods were eaten..... I'm sure there were other solutions, but the fact is that it's me who was to blame, not him.  After all, I am the one who lives in my body.

I know people who are so busy blaming others as an excuse for their current condition that they are almost obsessed with it...... Mired down in the depressed state of victim,....... looking for sympathy from anyone who will listen as to their woeful tale of why being so fat and out of shape is not their fault.........

I think they feel like if enough people say "It's Okay- You can't help the way you are", they will suddenly feel accepted and the world will be Okay with them being overweight and out of shape, and somehow that will make them happy.

If this is you........, Guess what?  Even if everyone were to pat you on the head and tell you what you want so desperately to hear, you would still look in the mirror and see exactly what you saw five minutes before they told you that. And would that image make you happy?

Didn't think so.

A lot of folks like to blame their upbringing.  Okay, so I will give it to many of you that you were brought up in homes with very few good food choices and forced to clean your plate.  I see a lot of kids whose overweight condition I do indeed blame on the parents.  How can kids eat right if they aren't given right food choices?  If you are feeding your kids garbage, it's time to accept the blame for where they are and start feeding them healthy foods, even if you don't like healthy foods yourself.  Suck it up and set the example.

HOWEVER, if you are an adult who is out of shape and still blaming your parents, it's time to grow up and assume the responsibility for the way you look. Even if they locked you in a closet and fed you nothing but Twinkies your entire upbringing, NOW you are able to make you own choices.  NOW you can reverse what they have done.  NOW is the time to change your habits.  Besides, how long is it that you have you been out from under your parents jurisdiction?

Sorry- The Mommy Excuse just doesn't hold water.

The fact is that in order to maintain a body that is too big, you have to eat too much food.  I don't care how you got that body: To maintain it you have to be eating enough food to sustain it.  Make every excuse you want, but that's a fact no one can dispute.  Well, you could.... but you'd look pretty stupid to the rest of the world if you did.

Unless you lay claim to your own health, you will never own a healthy body.  That's just the way it is.  As long as you are deflecting the responsibility for your current state on someone besides you, you are nowhere near obtaining the healthy body you deserve to have.  YOU have all of the power in this.  YOU made choices that got you where you are today, whether you became unhealthy on your own or entered into adulthood that way.  And only YOU can get yourself out of it.

How?  Start with accepting.  Phrases like "I am the one who is responsible for being here."  "My dissatisfaction with my body is because of me, not anyone else." "Sure, other people may not have been supportive, but I make the choices that keep me here."

Believe it. Let it sink in.  Feel it.

And then?  Cast it away.  Forgive yourself.  Move forward, making better choices.  (I blogged about that here: http://itallmakesadifference.blogspot.com/2010/04/love-yourself-in-your-current-condition.html)

And enjoy life.  You have gone way too far being miserable. It's time to forgive everyone, including yourself (read the above blog link), and live life out from under the cloud of blame.  When you do that, you are ready to take care of yourself the way you deserve.